Dissonance: The mind's ability to hold two contradictory beliefs simultaneously. I was thinking about this as I wrote this entry so here's hoping it might give the following a little bit more sense..
A thought has continued to reoccur on a slow loop through my head, the idea of truth and the desire for something that is true. I've started this trip in what is probably one of the most affluent, well off suburbs in the USA and thus the world. There's no poverty here, there's no struggle, there's just giant house, upon golf course, upon holiday resort. To me it just doesn't feel true. What do I mean by that thought, I'm honestly not sure. If true is the same thing as real then it means nothing; seen as what's real is relative to the perspective from which I see it and to the state in which my consciousness is in at any particular moment. When I'm asleep dreams are real. It could be argued that the distinction between true and real is that truth is a constant which exists regardless of the state of consciousness or the physical location within which one finds them self. Hows that for reaching a conclusion without any research or experimentation?
Suppose "truth" and the "real" are one in the same though. That would mean that they are almost entirely determined by my mental/psychological outlook.
"You're in a house with a pool? I thought you were going all Thoreau?" So did I. I think more then anything this trip was about experience, good, bad, it doesn't matter it's all valuable in the same way that all knowledge becomes self knowledge. Within the next few weeks I have the ability to take this from a decent inexpensive holiday into a trip where I unlearn the unspoken rules I've been taught I must abide by to function within this society, and learn for myself what I truly need to get by. By pushing the self to it's limits and seeing how it, how I respond. I feel the question isn't why should I do this but do I want to? Sometimes I answer absolutely undoubtedly yes, sometimes "meh, see how it goes."
Right now this is real easy, I got free accommodation, free food and a Brave New World like suburb in terms of human interaction. I'm real keen to see what happens when I get out of here. This has been the slow lowering into the hot water, na fuck that - boring metaphor. This has been the slow introduction to anal sex, with the lubricant and the gentle, caring hands. Whats to come may be a full on ass raping. I just have to be patient 'till I get out of here.
No comments:
Post a Comment